cease and desist

i’ve been skipping roll call of late.

i was never one for marking my attandance — leave that for the archivist, i say.

So there is no evidence of my existence. This universe refuses to mark my place. The only trace i leave is held in the minds of those i entertain. As such, there are currently traces on almost every continent as we speak, but not a single ex marks the spot.

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To come at things from another direction, ThesisLand has been hell, mostly. It’s like a rollercoaster, as you approach the end the ups and downs are simulatneously streching and contracting. So, when things are good there’s weight behind that feeling, there’s concrete ideas and partially emerged products of real benefit. As well when things don’t look so shiny there’s the full weight of the ocean pressing against your frail body and you’ve been swimming for so long there’s no red and gold flag to guide your return.

Perhaps the abscence of my guides contributes to this sinking feeling. Never have i approached such a formidable goal post, one that doesn’t have a victory march already mapped. My mind is unable to comprehend anything beyond October 29. 

i would like the terrain of this sprint surveyed, prior to the starting gun being shot, but past survivors tell me that no two races are the same and i will just have to watch my steps.

i’ll attempt to dispatch the odd missive, but please go gentle if they’re delayed in the post.