cease and desist

Sometimes help is on it’s way. Sometimes it is just delayed.

un:
i have been fortunate this week to find the time to finish reading The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas.

i have been hit by a semi-trailer. My life is now a blur.

Gertrude has snatched my brain and is frockling with it. This wasn’t without her initially planting some well placed punches.

We went from one room to another and quite frankly we had no idea which
of the pictures the Saturday evening crowd would have thought art and
which were just the attempts of what in France are known as the
Sunday painters, workingmen, hairdressers and veterinaries and visionaries
who only paint once a week when they do not have to work.

Work presses hard on my life. i must confess that i have indeed become one of these Sunday painters. There are no revolutions orbiting around my axis. This is not my life. I don’t remember agreeing to this.

deux:
And i actually really enjoy my job. No day is ever the same. i am building skills that will get me where i want. Imagine if i didn’t.

i signed on to this because i needed to finish my degree. i won’t allow it to prolong any longer. i now wonder whether it would’ve been better staying where i was answering phone calls.

“hello, uniadvice, how can i help you?”

But that was boring and uninspiring. I need to learn to do as much as i can at work and then switch off. they are not paying for this time. This is rent free space – FUCK OFF.

actually the concept of work is not so bad if you realise it is only temporary.

i realise how valuable my life in holland was. i now need to find a way of making that sustainable. i will not be a ricky swallow.

trois:
It’s hard when those around you are in different chapters.

i am reading chapters of budapest of san fran and having london texted in. But it is with these coordinates that allow me to chart my course.

i bought my first sarah tansey on the weekend. i can’t wait to get it.